Letting Go
It’s pretty incredible to think about the last 6+ months. I shut my eyes and try to remember what my life was like before the stay at home orders, masks, hand sanitizer, not being able to see my friends and family safely, and the hyper awareness of racial injustice in America. Right before the global pandemic I worked upwards of 10 to 12 hours a day, 6 days a week doing my best to make a small business run smoothly and create (not my personal) brand awareness in hopes that it would be profitable. I also frequently took on freelance gigs, and did other odds and ends for my family’s company.
The typical profitability time horizon for a retail store can be anywhere between 24-36 months. One location was open for 14 months and the other opened on March 10, 2020, being open for only 6 days after I had built it out, hired staff, and trained them. I had been working on getting everything together for 2 months. The timing was unimaginable during an unprecedented time.
When I moved to Miami 3 years ago my goal has (always) been to make art and support myself doing it. I’ve mostly been able to do that. But let’s be real it’s been a struggle. When I started taking myself seriously I was given oodles of opportunities and I’ve taken them. If you read my post The Last 2 Years you’ll hear all about my “detour”. In short, some things I got involved with were really other peoples goals presented me as creative opportunites. I was going 100 MPH and then everything stopped. I soon became fully aware of how deprived I was of my personal art practice, my creative dreams, and how I deprived myself of these things. When I realized this, I let go. Completely and wholly. The pandemic has been the real personal creative opportunity I’ve needed to get back on track.
For the last two weeks of March, also known as the first two weeks of quarantine, I wandered around my house aimlessly. I was encouraged by one of the great friends to lay outside in the sun, read a book, to do face masks, watch tv, eat, and sleep. I was encouraged to stop. So I did. I was going 0 MPH confused, but well rested with a new really fabulous skin care routine. Jared and I kept joking that our quarantine was an artist residency in our own home.
It was in the beginning of April I needed to move by hands for my sanity. My brother asked me if I could make masks to help mitigate COVID-19. I had the tools and the skills to create functional, wearable objects, and I did. I made and sold 350 masks between April 15th and August 20th. A huge thank you! to everyone who supported me and purchased masks. The sales from that gave me enough to continue my quarantine-chill lifestyle and the space to work towards my creative endeavors.
Between April and May I began to uncover, discover, and recover my sense of self. The city began to reopen at the end of May but I made the decision not to go back to my old normal, and to stay on course. I was TERRIFIED to fall back into old behaviors and of getting sick with COVID. I let go. I let go of the person who who worked 10+ hours a days and continued to grow. Mid-June rolled in quickly and I started learning about CNC and laser cutting machines. I was told the first step was to learn Illustrator. I’m not great on the computer. Yea, I’ve built a few websites, and done a lot of art direction for graphic designers and brand development, but the last time I used the software was in 2006. I’ve fallen in love with digital art making. I love the idea that I can use underlying themes of my art- color, repetitive shapes, and fine details to playful create from the safety of my office.
After having a 2 week depressive episode at the beginning of July I dusted myself off and The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron; a 12 week guide to creative personal development. I made the decision to start that process on August 5. I had once attempted the spiritual path to creative recovery but fell into a “detour” in 2018. I purchased my artist Lisa Frank spiral notebooks and a 12 pack of pens. I’m currently on week 10. I’ve been addressing my workaholism (there’s a quiz and I passed brilliantly), setting boundries, and dedicating time to my personal art practice and I’m writing again!
Part of my new practice is creating digital patterns for products. When I realized that how much fun I was having creating these patterns I knew I had to find a way to translate them into 3 dimension objects. I got linked up on Society6, an amazing platform for artists to sell their work. One of the things I love most about this is that all the products are made to order. I am able to adjust the patterns to fit each product the way I want. My artist is happy, playful, and proud that the results of letting go is makin’ moves.
I hope you enjoy my new home decor and lifestyle products as much as I do! I introduce to you the first 5 collections- Midcentury Modern Shapes, Woven Plaid, Sound, Abstract Landscape, and Abstract Circles with Lines. I put together various color palettes for each to fit the designs. Products range from throw pillows, duvet covers, and curtains to mugs, tote bags, notebooks and more!
